We are about 3 weeks away from making a huge decision in our lives. We have been actively praying about the timing of our application with the International Mission Board. There have been some delays, some concerns about our location, political unrest, and personal unrest on our part about the timing.
I just want to share with you from my heart what I have learned through this process. For the past 12 years, my dream has been to "die in the dirt of Africa." I know that sounds like an insane dream, but Africa has been in my heart since before I knew my husband. That love grew through the years and finally I was able to actually go and do mission work in India and Africa (2 times). What a blessing! What a dream come true...almost.
You see the problem with dreams...is that they don't always come from God. Yes, mission work is great and needed. But, it is never to be elevated above God and our relationship to Him, even if the work seems to be FOR Him. But, see in the back of my mind for the past 12 years I have said to myself, "I am content here in the States, BUT one day we will be overseas in Africa and then I'll really be happy." That is not contentment at all. That is a dream that gets in the way of daily obedience and surrender to God's plan for my life.
About 3 months ago, both Jay and I felt a unrest about our tentative departure date of Jan. 2009. We began to pray together EVERY night about this unrest. We fasted and sought God's hand in our lives in a very passionate way...whatever it might be. Then, 4 weeks ago, we got an email that said we would be delayed until April or May 2009.
We were so thrilled to have heard from God and that the unrest was His kindness in preparing us for the delay. We weren't disappointed at all...we were thrilled to be on the path God had for us. But, as that passed, God has still allowed unrest to fill our hearts. There are many reasons we could humanly look to, but we just know that we are desperately seeking God's direction.
Then, very quietly one afternoon as I asked God why we had even applied if we weren't to go right now, He answered. He showed me that I had been chasing a dream about going to Africa...but not chasing Him in that area. Now, that the opportunity was right here and it seemed like the perfect next step for us, He was teaching me that I really don't want to be anywhere without the peace of God in my life. I can't imagine going anywhere with unrest. I want the peace that "passes all understanding" in every area of my life!
So, we would love for you to join us in prayer for the next 3 weeks. We will be deciding April 1st if this is the time for our family to be overseas. He is multiplying and blessing Desert Flower Ministries here in the States in a way that is simply God math! So, it may be that God is opening up a place of ministry here in the States for us...this time with my WHOLE heart on board with His plan.
I am so thankful for such a kind God. If we truly seek Him...we'll find Him. He will change our hearts and desires if we dedicate ourselves to prayer. Not to change God's mind...but to change our hearts to beat alongside His. I just love God...don't you?
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